A Comparative Study of Family Values in the Ramayana and the Modern World
Snehal Maktedar, Sumedha Thakur, Rushikersh Dongare, Sarvesh Sadhale
Dr. Yogita Chhatre, Dr. Maria Norma Menezes
School of Sanskrit, Philosophy and Indic Studies,
Goa University, Taleigao Plateau, Goa – 403206, India
Abstract:
” अयं निजः परोवेति गणना लघुचेतसाम् ||
उदारचरितानां तु वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम् “||
It is one of the most important concepts of Indian culture. Because it emphasizes on family and social welfare over individual interests but nowadays due to the increasing influence of indulgent ideas this concept has been lost and its selfish and very evil attitude is giving further impetus to the nuclear family system. And members of nuclear family are facing many psycho, social, and economic problems.
“Ramayana” is the best guidebook in our Indian culture on all these problems. The characters of Ramayana are full of moral principles essential for life such as life skills, loyalty, devotion, faith, unwavering faith, support, truth, religion, sacrifice, courage, commitment, respect, love, forgiveness, compassion, harmony, perseverance and inspire us to live a better life. Ram’s deep affection for his parents demonstrates the profound respect and care he had for his family members. He gives more importance to following the duty and that too without any bitterness.
In today’s society, there is a lot of misunderstanding about the equality of men and women. We don’t find dedication towards performing duties instead everybody talks about the ‘ rights ‘. With the cute name “My Life My Way” people are going wild. Avoiding family responsibilities.
We see equality between men and women in Ramayana too. Women of that time were highly educated. Women were getting the same respect as men. Women like Ratnaprabha, Sabari, Mandavi, Urmila, Shrutkirti were in the Ramayana who followed the path of duty, religion and devotion. Before going to Vanavasa Ram told all the people in the palace to take care of all the royal ladies especially his stepmother Kaikayi. He loved her unconditionally.
We can see Rama’s love for his country. He did not think of leaving his home and country for money unlike the people of today. After conquering Lanka, Rama gave the kingdom of Lanka to Bibhishana saying
“ जननी जन्मभूमिश्च स्वर्गादपि गरीयसी ”.
In the Ramayana, there was no struggle to dominate one another. Among brothers, sisters or even Swami and dasa , there was no selfishness, jealousy, but an effort to fulfill one’s duty by knowing one’s place, so each person is great and role model for us. And hence that society became Purushottama’s.
Taking Ramcharitra as an ideal, everyone in the family can destroy his ego and selfishness and live in harmony.
Keywords: Values, Ramayana, Dharma, Itihasa
- Introduction:
Ours, as we all know is the oldest surviving civilization and any civilization that survives does so only if its values are strong. Over time, our culture has not only survived but has also undergone frequent foreign invasions and is still flourishing, the reason being that our culture possesses the strongest value system. Vedic literature mentions the do’s and don’ts, the good and bad which makes up the value system. There is a concept of “Dharma” which explains the expected behaviour by human beings, which is mentioned in the Dharmashastra, Itihasa and the Purana-s. Our Rishis led a life full of values, and also passed them to the generations thereafter. For this, they took the help of Puranas, Kathas, and Mahakavyas. One among these is our Epic “Ramayana”, which we believe is a part of our history and is also the first Mahakavya.[1] It is complementary to the Veda-s. The author of this book himself is a great Tapasvi and has imbibed in him the significant values which are depicted in Ramayana. This can be known from the shloka written in the beginning of Ramayana which says:
“तपस्स्वाध्यायनिरतं तपस्वी वाग्विदां वरम्।
नारदं परिपप्रच्छ वाल्मीकिर्मुनिपुङ्गवम्।।“ [2]
- Family Values of Rama:
It is also a noted fact that Valmiki starts the conversation with Maharshi Narada by asking him questions; “presently on earth who is the man with all good virtues and brave? follows Dharma and has gratitude towards the deserved ones? Who is truthful and is of very good character? Who loves every living being? Who is wise and capable and is lovable to everyone?” He also asks, “who is the one who has control over his soul, anger and jealousy? Who is the one when gets angry on the battlefield even the gods are scared of?” Maharshi Narada responds to Maharishi Valmiki that all these virtues are rare to find in a single man but there is “one” who is known to people by the name ‘Ram’ and has many more virtues. Therefore, it is even more clear that Ram has all these virtues in him and is the ideal ‘Man’; ‘Purushottama’. It is all of the qualities he could imbibe, all the family values in him that made him so.
कोन्वस्मिन् साम्प्रतं लोके गुणवान कश्च वीर्यवान् । धर्मज्ञश्च कृतज्ञश्च सत्यावाक्यो दृढव्रतः । ।
चारित्र्येण च को युक्तः सर्वभूतेषु को हितः । विद्वान कः कः समर्थश्च कश्चैकप्रियदर्शनः । ।[3]
1.2.1 Mother and Son:
He was the dearest son amongst all the four sons of Maharaja Dasharatha. A calm, respectful, obedient, truthful, and loving child. He treated all three mothers as his own, perhaps, he loved Kaikeyi more than Kausalya. So much so that when Manthara told Kaikeyi to send Ram to Vanvasa as one of her boons, Kaikeyi scolded her saying, “The way you are talking seems illogical to me, How can I do so when Ram is loving to me as much as Bharata. Devi Kausalya lovingly takes care of me. ” Such impartial and loving was Ram to his stepmother.
यथा वै भरतो मान्यस्तथा भूयोऽपि राघवः।
कौसल्यातोऽतिरिक्तं च मम शुश्रूषते बहुः।।[4]
In another instance when Bharata with all the ministers and mothers went to Vanam to convince Ram to get back home, Ram denied and insisted that he would continue to live there so that his father could be true to his promise. When Shriram came to know about Bharat’s rude behaviour towards Kaikeyi, he respectfully bowed down to her first and then to Mata Kausalya though it was a tradition to pay respect to the elder one first. He also told Bharat to forgive Kaikeyi for her deeds and treat her with respect. This shows his extreme level of obedience towards his parents and true love for them.
1.2.2 Love for the Motherland
All the other three brothers who were deeply inspired by Shriram had his virtues reflected in their gestures. Ram loved and respected his biological parents and had compassionate behaviour towards all elderly people in his life. He also considered his motherland; Ayodhya as a true mother. Unlike people in today’s era, he did not think of leaving his home and country for money. That is why when he won over Lanka, Vibhishana the brother of Ravana offered him the kingship, Ram a true patriot, replied with due honour.
अपि स्वर्णमयी लङ्का न मे लक्ष्मण रोचते।
जननी जन्मभूमिश्च स्वर्गादपि गरीयसी। [5]
In the Ramayana, Rama’s unwavering loyalty to his father’s wishes, Sita’s devotion to Rama, and Lakshmana’s commitment to his brother exemplify strong family bonds. In contrast, in the modern era we often see rising divorce rates and weakened familial ties. The epic also highlights respect for elders, such as Ram’s obedience to his father, while today, younger generations sometimes disregard elders’ wisdom.
1.2.3. Guru and Shishya
As children, parents train their child to be kind, obedient, disciplined, etc. As we grow, we need someone to mould us into a strong independent person and here a Guru plays an important role. Guru would make you understand through simple verses or shlokas the special significance in one’s life.
“ ध्यानमुले गुरोमुर्ति पुजा मुलं गुरोः पदम् |
मंत्रमुलं गुरुर्वाक्य मोक्षमुलं गुरोः कृपा ||[6]
The one who removes the darkness of ignorance from human beings and brings the light of knowledge into their lives is Guru. And “Valmiki Ramayana” represents Gurutattva.
There exists a significant lack of values that Guru imparts to the students for good social and family bonding. Or because of the rat race of marks, Gurus have assumed a formal status among the disciples.
King Dasharatha, under the orders of his guru, requested Shri Shring Muni, who knew the Atharva Veda, to perform the Putrakameshthi Yagya. When King Dashrath would have gone to meet Shringamuni, he would have gone like a petitioner walking barefoot. He did not go to Guru to show off his grandeur. The disciple should always remain absorbed in the Guru’s work and should remain obedient to the Guru, thus his work would be accomplished. We realized from this context in those days scholars and gurus are respected more than a king.
When Maharishi Vishwamitra sought help from King Dasaratha, Ram and Lakshman pleased Guru Vishwamitra serving him wholeheartedly. Pleased with their service, he provided Ram and Lakshman with divine Astras, which Ram and Lakshman used in their future lives. This is a good example of Guru’s foresight towards disciples. Atirathi King Dasharatha was a mighty man, but under the guidance of Maharishi Vashishtha, he ruled well. He also sent all his four sons to Guru Ashram for education like normal students. As the fruit of all this, we come across the example of Ram and his brothers, who are full of qualities and excellent personalities.
When the angry Lord Parashurama and Shrirama faced each other at the time of Swayamvara, Lord Shriram calmed Parashuram’s anger by following Kshatra Dharma and Rajdharma and respected his authority.
In today’s world, students appear confused in the race to be at the top to see the unique relationship of guru-disciple and swami-dasa in Ramayana. The epitome of servitude is “Hanuman”. Hanuman set the ideal of being very strong and intelligent, yet humble and egoless to serve. Sugriva’s biography shows how important the role of a Guru or mentor is in our life. Sugriva had a preacher like Hanuman in his life, so he became successful.
Hanuman and Sugriva gave proper respect to senior Mentors like Jambuvanta, Jambuvanta’s intelligence made Hanuman aware of his power and he accomplished important tasks, while Jambuvanta’s knowledge was useful to Sugriva from time to time in war.
Many such people come in the form of Guru Tattva, a Mentor in our life. If we keep away our ego and jealousy, we can also be well-being. And the disciples of today will be the best citizens of tomorrow. And this is the desire of every human being and in that sense, we see that our progress towards perfection has started by incorporating the right things in our traditional Indian educational system by making a little change in the current education system.
1.2.4 Brotherhood
Modern materialistic families are disintegrating all over the world but in India, we are successful in keeping this system intact to some extent and the reason lies in our history. After the banishment of Ram, Laxman chose to be with him and help him with the routine and also guarded him whenever needed. Shri Ram also takes note of all his sacrifices. When Lakshman builds a small hut from leaves, Ram is so delighted that he tells Lakshman “oh you have built this exquisitely, and all the time you are with me as my shadow. brother, you have made me forget that I am without a father.” [7]How strong is the bond of love between them which takes care of the duties towards one another but also knows the limitations. When Ravana abducted Sita by deceit and Ram and Lakshman started searching for her in the forest, Shri Ram found some ornaments. Ram was in such grief and pain that he was not in a position to think. He asked Lakshmana whether he recognized the ornaments. Lakshman says ‘I don’t know about all the other ornaments, they are unfamiliar to me but these anklets are of mother Sita. They are familiar to me because when I used to bow down to her, I saw them in her feet every day.” [8]If we could learn something from this, and inculcate these values in ourselves we are sure all the relations between men and women will be so pure and respectful that there will be no molestation against women in society. Lakshman does not even look at mother Sita except but her feet, this is a true example that teaches how to deal with the women around us.
Bharata gained powers after the banishment of Ram but considered himself incomplete without his brother Ram. He keeps Ram’s paduka on the throne and rules Ayodhya like a trusty. It is mentioned in Ramayana that Bharat used to report all the matters of the day to the paduka thinking of Prabhu Ram’s presence there. It is so important to acknowledge the good qualities of loved ones without taking them for granted – that was Ram. To be a great family man, deep bonds of love and affection is essential within the members of family. We see this, particularly in the brotherly love between Rama, Bharat, Lakshman and Shatrughna. Ram has upheld family values in such a fine way in an encompassing manner. Our country has always held the family as sacred, and at times, gave undue importance to it. However, at today’s day and age, even this is disintegrating.
Ram and his brothers love and relation is ideal for us in today’s life.
The Nayaka of “Valmiki Ramayana” Shriram said to his beloved wife Sita
“ न देवि तव दुःखेंन स्वर्गम् अपि अभिरोचये
न हि में अस्ति भयम् किंचित् स्वयंम्भो इव सर्वतः|” [9]
1.2.5 The relation of spouses:
It is said that Shriram and his wife Sitamai is an Eternal couple. Their love is realistic, not idealistic. Ram-Sita’s life had many ups and downs, faced emotional conflicts but their love, trust and respect for each other remained unshakable.
As we think about Sri Ram and Sita, we come to know about the richness and strength of their relationship. This sacred bond in Rama Sita is exemplary for today’s couples.
Respect is the cornerstone in Ram Sita’s relationships. Which today teaches us to respect the partner’s opinion, decision, individuality, and equality.
Throughout the Ramayana, Ram Sita’s mutual trust and concern is evident in many instances, like
“तस्यास्तत्क्षिप्रमागम्य रामो धर्मभृतां वरः।
चीरं बबन्ध सीतायाः कौशेयस्योपरि स्वयम्।।”[10]
And that trust creates transparency in relationships, harmony, sensitivity, firm support on the path of life that is needed today.
Compassion, genuine love, unity, commitment to Dharma, loyalty, and most important sacrifices for our people is the basic foundation of Sita-Ramchandra’s coexistence and family life. Which is now lost under the cute but selfish name of “My life my way”. Are we avoiding our family and social responsibilities?
During Ram Sita’s crisis, making each other’s strength, removing the shortcomings of the partner, promoting their qualities, recognizing the diversity of thoughts, personalities and making each other complementary can be an inspiration for us.
When we face many sad and difficult situations in life, the forgiveness, the recovery time required to mentally come out of the pain and the firmness expected from the partner are shown in Ramayana.
1.3 The Modern World-Scenario
In today’s times, people leave their duties and go to a low level to be equal or superior to others in the family. But in the Ramayana, Sita, knowing her husband fully and knowing his place in her life and vice versa, very lovingly and proudly exclaims to Anusuya mata that
“ किं पुनर्योगुणश्र्लाघ्यः सानुक्रोशो जितेन्द्रियः |
स्थिरानुरागो धर्मात्मा मातृवत्पितृवत्प्रियः ||”[11]
Further, Prabhurama’s love and loyalty towards Sita can be seen from his vow of monogamy, the pain and discomposure of Sita’s separation, and his efforts to free Sita from the captivity of the cruel demon Ravana and the huge war. Isn’t the bridge built to reach Sita in Lanka a symbol of Ram Sita’s love for us? The coexistence of Bhumi Kanya Seeta and Suryavanshi Prabhushri Ram, who is as bright as the sun, will be an inspiration for ages.
In the present day, according to the teaching method suggested by Thomas Macaulay[12], the relationship between guru and disciple has changed. Mere bookish knowledge does not provide all-round development to the student; it only causes a lack of thought process in the student. It does not consider the mental and physical capabilities of the students and their interest in the exam, only they are concerned about how they can score maximum marks in the examination.
In today’s society, there is a lot of misunderstanding about the equality of men and women. Everyone tries to dominate each other. Equality of men and women is also seen in Ramayana. The women of that time were highly educated and all-rounders. As Kaikai used to help King Dasaratha in war and politics. While Ram, Lakshman and Bharata were out of Ayodhya, Urmila, Mandavi and Shrutkirti took care of their family for 14 years by following Dharma. Women like Ratnaprabha, Shabari, Anusuya who follow the path of knowledge and devotion are in Ramayana.
“अयं निजः परोवेति गणना लघुचेतसाम्
उदारचरितानां तु वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम्|”[13]
Among the many concepts of Indian culture, “ वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम्” is a very important concept in social and family matters. But due to the growing influence of today’s indulgences, the idea that the whole universe is my family has not only receded, but the nuclear family system is gaining more momentum. Due to the ideology of “Double income no responsibility”, the family members are facing many mental, social and economic problems. The best guidebook on all these problems is “Ramayana”.
1.4 Conclusion:
Rama’s loving and respectful behavior with his family members can be seen in many examples. Rama’s behavior was not only for his family but also for every person in society.
Forgiveness, patient and merciful Rama called Ahalya “mother” and rescued her, he ate berries from Bhillika Shabari. He also befriended the monkey king Sugriva of a different race, and gave due honor to the surrendered Vibhishana as the future Lankesha. Mahabali and wise Hanuman accepted the Daasatva of Shri Rama. From the biography of Shri Rama, which makes it clear that casteism, discrimination, racism imposed on us are not part of Indian culture.
If we can live a little the way Maryada Purushottam ShriRama lived his life, then this life will be worthwhile.
In Ramayana there is no struggle to master each other. That is why every person in Ramayana is great and exemplary to us. This will help to remove the Shadripu-s in the family and social relations, and will help us know each other. If this is achieved by the society, it will complement and nourish every human being. The deep affection and commitment to the family members is a great value to be learnt and followed in the society today.
References:
- Valmiki Ramayana 2/103/42-43 downloaded from valmikiramayan.net
- Sanskepa Ramayana by Rashtriya Sanskrit Sansthan, Delhi
- स्कंद पुराण , गुरु गीता
- M.R.Kale,(2023),Bhavabhooti’s uttararamcharitam, Motilal Banarasidas, Publishers-varanasi
- Shri Valmiki Ramayana App
[1] इतिहासपुराणाभ्यां वेदं समुपबृंहयेत् । बिभेत्यल्पश्रुतात् वेदो मामयं प्रहरिष्यति ।।
[2] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् – 1.1.1
[3] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् – 1.1. 2, 1.1.3
[4] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् – 1.2.18
[5] सुभाषित रत्नभांडागारः
[6] स्कंद पुराण , गुरु गीता
[7] वाल्मीकिरामायणम्- 3.15.28,29
[8] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् – 4.6.22 1/2
[9] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् – 2.30.27
[10] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् – 2.37.14
[11] वाल्मीकिरामायणम् -2.118.4
[12] Thomas Macauly’s Minute in British Parliament on 2nd February 1835
[13] सुभाषितरत्नभांडागारः